Picanha Grill Lanchonete (yes, that is spelled correctly)

The best new burger in Philadelphia is an absolute mess!  An ungodly train wreck of ingredients served to you in a location devoid of glitz, glamor, panache or any of the other adjectives our beloved city’s slew of worthy new burger joints can lay claim to.  It is primal, carnal, evil and glorious.  It is more Ronaldo than Ronald.  It is 5 inches tall and a hemisphere of flavor wide.  It is the reason I may never have to venture into Newark, NJ again.

I present to you the X-Tudo Hamburger-

Game-Set- Match, checkmate, “you sank my battleship“, Yahtzee! and “boom goes the dynamite (as uttered by Cleveland Brown)” all wrapped up in wax paper and delivered piping hot on a plate.

I was first introduced to the concept of Brazilian hamburgers by Jason Perlow’s review of Hamburgao in Newark on his pioneering food/tech site offthebroiler.  After that, and thanks to the coincidence of some of my work locations being in that neck of the woods, I trekked to the Ironbound to get my hands on a Cheese Egg as often as possible.  And whenever possible I dragged others, first my wife and daughter and then later my boss and some work colleagues.  The Brazilian version of a hamburger just rewrites the rules and is guaranteed to be a memorable experience (even if it were bad – and they have never been – it would be memorable for so many reasons including the atmosphere, the language and the ubiquitous pastries).  Now to find a location so close to home serving these gems…needless to say I’m a happy happy guy.

The Picanha Grill Lanchonete is the sister restaurant to Picanha Brazilian Grill, which sits further south on Castor Ave towards Oxford Circle and offers all-you-can-eat rodizio style dining.  In fact, the Lanchonete will be moving next door to the grill later this year, which is good news for anyone visiting from the City or the ‘burbs because it makes the trip about 10 minutes shorter (just off the Roosevelt Boulevard).  It features a long bar with high chairs for eating while watching Brazilian daytime TV and a row of tables for more refined noshing.  In the barren wasteland that is this strip of Castor Ave, the inside of this joint yearns for a hipness above what is both expected and probably attainable considering the rivers of asphalt just steps from any seat in the place.

The menu features several different variations on the kitchen sink theme, with your choice of hamburgers, chicken or hot dogs buried underneath.  Even if this wasn’t a burger blog I’d insist that this be your point of entry to the cuisine as, in my opinion, it provides the perfect foundation (both in shape and taste) for the bevy of toppings which run the gamut from the mundane (lettuce) and mandatory (bacon) to the ridiculous (bananas) and sublime (yes, potato sticks belong on your sandwich!).

My Portuguese is negligible, despite a short period of time living in Rhode Island (where have you gone Vinny Pazienza?), so I am still a bit lost as to how the description of my burger on the bi-lingual menu has more ingredients in Portuguese than English?  (11 items in Portuguese and 10 in English).  I’m jut going to assume the real secret to the deliciousness of this concoction is that magical 11th ingredient which us estrangeiro’s are forbidden to possess (like bikes in the United Arab Emirates  or  that Goethe quote about “…what we cannot understand”).

Eating this burger gracefully is impossible.  Even after cutting it in half (a tactic both to increase one’s ability to grip the darn thing and to cause me to pause long enough to weigh the downside of consuming the whole thing in one sitting) didn’t render it manageable.  An ample supply of napkins were key as were the polite pauses in conversation offered by the server who told me about his family in Sao Paolo and his impressions of Philadelphia after having only been here a short time.

In a year where so many great burger joints have opened in the City, the arrival of Picanha Gill Lanchonete has gone completely unheralded.  Nary a tweet, yelp or peep from a chowhound has tipped off the masses to this joint, and that is a shame.  I hope you’ll stray from your comfort zone at least once to test this place out (or their new location when it opens) because your perception of what makes a great burger will be changed forever.

Additional thoughts…Fries With That Shake’s friend girlscantell needs to diagram this thing for her next set of placemats….the roll at Hamburgao in Newark is a bit different and much better, but it is about an hour and a half away and will set you back $20 in tolls to get there so I am willing to forgive…I was in the area for business and to test out the kosher burger at Holy Land Grill (located just a few doors down).  Not sure if I will ever actually make it there…yes, it is called a hamburger but it has cheese on it, I think cheese is just a given.

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Geshmak! (Yiddish for delicious or tasty)

Hymie’s is your typical Jewish deli serving oversized portions of comfort foods and deli sandwiches which are tasty enough to erase any thoughts of driving to New York City to get your fill of corned beef or pastrami.

I’ve been eating at Hymie’s for years and without fail I always order the soup & sandwich special (matzo ball soup & half a corned beef sandwich).  On the rarest of occasions I’ve switched the corned beef out for pastrami, but that’s as far as I have strayed on the menu, until today.

Behold, the Pastrami Burger.

Take about 1/3 lb. of top quality pastrami, fry it up on the griddle and then toss it on top of a 1/2 lb. burger (cooked spot-on medium!!), mustard up the light and airy bun, fold and commence eating.  The first bite is truly a “you got your peanut butter in my chocolate moment.”  I had read about the Pastrami burgers at Crown Burgers in Salt Lake City, UT in George Motz’s book Hamburger America, but I really thought it was more of a stunt than a sandwich.  I was completely wrong, this is the real deal.

The pastrami scores high on the fat=flavor meter, and combined with the juicy burger hits all of the right notes in your mouth.  Add to that the opposing textures of the meat (the chewiness of the pastrami vs. the buttery softness of the burger) and this burger is a delicious marriage of opposites.

The included side of steak fries were excellent and combined with access to the all-you-can-eat pickles, kugel and slaw bar makes this burger a relative bargain at $9.50.  As I write this, 1/2 of the burger is calling me from my fridge (something tells me it might end up as an omelette in the morning) so split it with a friend or be prepared to take home a doggie bag.

Menu via menupages

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Ok folks, we’re gonna need a ruling…is this a burger?
Add a slice of cheese, a big squishy bun, and oh heck, a slice of bacon and tell me that wouldn’t be about the best darned grilled burger you’ve ever seen?

Of course you won’t get any of that at Kabobeesh, one of West Philly’s hidden gems (which happens to be a Halal restaurant so forget the bacon).  This Pakistani/Afghani/Indian restaurant located in an old diner just blocks from UPENN’s campus is home to some amazing grilled meats, exotic vegetable dishes, truly friendly staff and the delicious (and potentially burger-ish in nature) dish pictured – the Chapli Kabab.

According to the web’s most reliable information clearinghouse – wikipedia:

Chapli kabab is a dish from Peshawar … which is very much popular in Pakistan and Afghanistan. An iconic dish among the Pashtuns, chapli kabab is made from minced beef or lamb, lightly spiced, and cooked on a large flat griddle in animal fats.

Kabobeesh’s version of Chapli Kabab is more than lightly spiced, but nothing outrageous.  This burger tended towards spicy, but was not off-putting in any way.  Maybe zippy is a better way to describe the heat.  Kabobeesh is known for their grilling and the two patties you get with your order came with perfect grille marks.  These were super juicy thanks to the higher fat content of the meat and just shy of medium done-ness.

Now, is it a burger?

The grilled naan bread more than made up for the lack of a bun so… √

They are round and of general burger thickness…another √

No mustard or ketchup in sight, but several unique condiment options available including a neon green mint-y sauce…√

They were darn tasty…√

There you have it – burger it is/was (and will be again).

Menu via menupages

Wright’s Dairy Rite Inc
346 Greenville Ave
Staunton, VA 24401
(540) 886-0435

We are just back from this summer’s burger vacation (more BBQ this year than burgers, but I don’t have a BBQ blog…yet!) and one of the highlights for the whole family was Wright’s Dairy-Rite in Staunton, VA. What a treat!

As they proudly claim on the sign out front, this gem has been serving Staunton (and hungry travelers) since 1952 and little has changed since then (and thank G-d for that!).

The signature burger at Wright’s Dairy-Rite is the Superburger:

SUPERBURGER
Staunton’s original since 1952. Two patties of pure ground beef (total quarter pound), real american cheese, shredded lettuce, and our own special sauce. Served on a triple-decker bun.

Jane and Michael Stern point out in their foodie bible Roadfood that the Superburger preceeded the Big Mac by “more than a decade” and the taste today continues to outpace the McDonald’s version. The special sauce isn’t syrupy sweet like its fast-food knock-off and the bun is fresh and delicious. Plus, no pickles!!

Served on wax paper with a side order of onion rings and perfectly complemented by a chocolate malt this burger made me nostalgic for an era I never lived through.

Carhop service is available but we chose to exit the car for a bit (we clicked off 1500 miles in 5 days – cushy seats and a formica table top looked great to us) and we were extra thankful for the great jukebox that kept our daughter entertained (and entertaining nearby diners) for at least 15 minutes. Each booth has a telephone to call in your order which was neat (although a bit awkward when it comes to phone manners – do you say “bye” when you are done ordering?)

Visiting a place like Wright’s will no doubt make walking into any one of those faux-retro joints a tough task. It is so rare to be able to catch a glimpse of that so-called “simpler time” and I know our family is better for it.

Staunton is a beautiful little town, too. Train buffs (and parents of little ones) will want to check out the “Gypsy Express” train located in the Gypsy Hill park. For a buck a person you get a great ride on a cool train that is about as old as Wright’s. Stop by on July 4th or Labor Day and your ride is free (more $$$ to spend on burgers!!).